Christmas Treats

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd not said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

The things babies say...

"Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old granddaughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard."

My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, "When I'm tired of being 5."

Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed, "Mommy, it's raining dumplings!"

As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering."

Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?"

When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "capital F!"

While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."

My daughter told her 5-year-old that their van was going to be fixed. Instantly, the small fry assumed, "Oh, it's going to the tire-o-practor?"

Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded, " I have words in my head I haven't even used yet."

His mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going outside to get a little sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You already have a son -- me!"

When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what? They are not only twins, they're brothers!"

On dating....

Alan asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Steve. What are you going to do when she starts to date?"

Steve says, "I figure I'll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear. Then I'll say, "Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She's my only daughter, and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way ............ just remember ............... I don't mind going back to prison."

Girlfriends in God

Taming the Tongue
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control" (Galatians 5:22 NIV).
Friend To Friend
Martha is a sweet older woman who is in the intermediate stages of Alzheimer's disease.  Perhaps one of the most radical changes in her behavior, besides memory loss, is her inability to control her tongue.  Martha has always used her words in a positive way, but in these latter years, her words have become unrestrained.  Her ability to keep unkind or hurtful words from escaping her lips is impaired.  She can't help it.  It is part of the disease that is ravaging her mind.  But watching my dear friend has helped me realized the importance of restraining our tongues.  It is a sign of physical, spiritual, and emotional health.
When I was young, I loved reading the story of the stately steed, Black Beauty.  In my early teens, I enjoyed visiting my friend Cammie and riding horses on her parents' dairy farm.  We often clicked our heels and raced through the fields with reckless abandonment.
The horse is a powerful animal, yet with the tug of the reins or the tap of a heel, he will submit to his master's bidding.  On the other hand, a wild stallion that has not been brought under the control of a master is of very little use.
In the Bible, we are instructed to have a spirit of gentleness which tempers the words we speak (Galatians 5:23).  The Greek word for gentleness is prautes, and suggests a wild horse that has been tamed.  Unfortunately, in our modern society, the word gentleness connotes being weak.  However, the Greek word means anything but weak.  Picture a muscular steed, proudly holding his head, poised to move with speed and power, nostrils flaring, but at the same time, under his master's control.  It is the picture of a warhorse under the control of its master.  That is a true picture of prautes - gentleness.
The same word, prautes, is translated "meek" in the King James Version.  When Jesus said He was "meek and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29), He was saying He was submitted to God - mightily powerful but under God's control.  Only when we submit our tongues to God will we have the ability to use our words for good.  Meekness isn't weakness; it's power under control.  It is taming and training our tongues to be under the submission and control of the Holy Spirit.
Let me give you an example. Oh, I hate to admit this, but I fear many sisters will relate - the dents in my armor attest to it.
Before I became a Christian, I was very "gifted" with a quick sarcastic wit.  Have you ever been in an argument and two hours later thought of a great comeback or slam remark?  Not me.  I could think of them on the spot.  I was good - so good.  Why, I could have opened up a side business feeding disgruntled wives, employees and friend's quick comebacks through earphones during confrontations.  However, after I accepted Christ as my Savior, it didn't take the Holy Spirit long to convict me that my tongue was not glorifying God.  Sure, it brought some laughs, but Jesus wasn't smiling.  So I began the arduous task of taming the tongue.
I memorized Job 40:4, "I put my hand over my mouth" and bit my tongue.  It was hard letting all those good sarcastic comments go to waste, but I knew they were only fit for the garbage heap.
That was over thirty years ago.  On many occasions, when someone is telling me about a confrontation with a family member or a co-worker, those quick witted remarks still pop up in my mind like a cue card on the stage.  When a store clerk offers a snide remark, I can usually think of one more snide.  So where's the victory?  The victory comes when I choose not to let the words out of my mouth. When I lasso the words before they have a chance to run out of the gate. When I offer blessings rather than cursing.  When I put on the humility of Christ and take the comments without the retaliation.  That, my friend, is choosing to walk in the Spirit instead of choosing to walk in the flesh.  It can only happen by the power of the Holy Spirit, and it becomes easier with practice.

Let's Pray
Heavenly Father, I pray that the fruit of the Spirit will grow in my life today.  I pray that the evidence of that fruit in my life will be in the words I speak to others.  Help my fruit to be sweet today.  Show me where I need to clip off unproductive branches that hinder healthy growth.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Have You Ever Seen An Angel?

 From Crosswalk - Insights with Bill Bright.


The angel of the LORD guards all who fear him, and he rescues them (Psalm 34:7, NLT).

Dear Friends,

Have you ever seen an angel? Dr. S.W. Mitchell thought he had. Dr. Mitchell was a well-known neurologist in Philadelphia.

After one very tiring day, he retired early. He was later suddenly awakened by a persistent knocking at the door. It was a little girl, poorly dressed and deeply upset. She told him that her mother was very sick and needed his help. Even though it was a bitterly cold, snowy night, and he was bone tired, Mitchell dressed and followed the girl. He found the mother desperately ill with pneumonia.

After treating her, Dr. Mitchell complimented the sick woman on her daughter's persistence and courage. The woman gave him a strange look and said, "My daughter died a month ago. Her shoes and coat are in the closet there." Dr. Mitchell went to the closet and opened the door. The coat was warm and dry and could not possibly have been out in the wintry night.

Have you ever seen an angel? John G. Paton also believes he has. While he was a missionary in the New Hebrides Islands, hostile natives surrounded his mission headquarters one night, intent on burning the Patons out and killing them. Paton and his wife prayed, terror-stricken, all that night. At dawn, they were amazed to see the attackers just turn and leave. A year later, the chief of that very tribe was converted to Christ. Paton then asked him what had kept him and his men from burning down the house and killing them that night.

The chief asked Paton a return question: "Who were all those men you had with you there?" Paton told him that just he and his wife were there, but the chief insisted they had seen hundreds of men standing guard -- big men in shining garments with drawn swords.

Have you ever seen an angel? We usually cannot see them, but God promises, "He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways" (Psalm 91:11, NIV).

God also promises: "The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them" (Psalm 34:7, NIV).

We must not worship angels, and we must keep our attention on the Lord Jesus Christ, but it is comforting to know that that they are there!

(Above incidents taken from The Pastor's Story File, March 1987.)

Yours for helping to fulfill the Great Commission each year until our Lord returns,

Bill Bright

are you Chicken or Eagle?

By Bill Bright, Crosswalk.com


They will fly high on wings like eagles (Isaiah 40:31, NLT).

Dear Friends,

God wants His people to "mount up with wings as eagles" (Isaiah 40:31). Unfortunately, too many Christians live as chickens.

The following interesting story is quoted in the Multnomah Message, Spring, 1993:

While walking through the forest one day, a man found a young eagle which had fallen out of his nest. He took it home and put it in his barnyard where it soon learned to eat and behave like the chickens. One day a naturalist passed by the farm and asked why it was that the king of all birds should be confined to live in the barnyard with the chickens. The farmer replied that since he had trained it to be a chicken, it had never learned to fly. The eagle thought it was a chicken.

"Still it has the heart of an eagle," replied the naturalist, "and can surely be taught to fly." He lifted the eagle toward the sky and said, "You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly."

The eagle, however, was confused. He did not know who he was, and seeing the chickens eating their food, he jumped down to be with them again.

The naturalist took the bird to the roof of the house and urged him again, saying, "You are an eagle. Stretch forth your wings and fly."

But the eagle was afraid of his unknown self and world and jumped down once more for the chicken food. Finally the naturalist took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain. There he held the king of the birds high above him and encouraged him again, saying, "You are an eagle. You belong to the sky. Stretch forth your wings and fly."

The eagle looked around, back towards the barnyard and up to the sky. Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun and it happened that the eagle began to tremble. Slowly he stretched his wings, and with a triumphant cry, soared away into the heavens, never to return to the barnyard.

May God help us to see the Son on high, better understand the eagles He wants us to be in His strength, and may we never return to the life of a spiritual chicken.

Got this in the mail... :)
_____________________________________________________
I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets..

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.

'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.


We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won't get any big surprise if you forwarded this to people. But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

From Crosswalk

September 7, 2009
A Powerful Force
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21NIV). 
Friend To Friend
I've always been amazed at the power restrained in a tiny atom too small to be seen by the naked eye.  Fission, (splitting the tiny nucleus of an atom), or fusion, (joining nuclei together), have the potential to generate enough power to provide energy for an entire city or enough destructive potential to level an entire town.  It all depends on how and when the joining together or splitting apart takes place.
So it is with our words.  Bound in one small group of muscles called the tongue lies an instrument with magnanimous potential for good or evil, to build up or to tear down, to empower or devour, to heal or to hurt.  It all depends on how and when the joining together and splitting apart takes place. Our words can make or break a marriage, paralyze or propel a friend, seam together or tear apart a relationship, build up or bury a dream, curse God or confess Christ. With our tongues we defend or destroy, heal or kill, cheer or churn. And we, as women, seem to be most talented at deciding when and where to wield this tiny sword.
Just as God used words to create physical life, our words can be the spark to generate spiritual life.  Paul taught, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved" (Romans 10:9 emphasis added).  Wow!  It is with our mouth that we are saved.  That is radical responsibility.  That is potently powerful.
In the Bible, the book of James paints a poignant picture of the power of our words.
"When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example.  Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell" (James 3:3-6 emphasis added).
On average, 4.3 million acres of forests are destroyed by wildfires each year in the United States.  In 2000, nearly 123,000 separate fires destroyed 8.5 million acres of forest.  About half are destroyed by natural causes such as lightening strikes, and the rest are caused by the carelessness of mankind.  While forest fires leave naked trees and barren hillsides that take years to revive, lives singed by fiery words can be laid bare forever.  We would never carelessly fling a lit match out of a car window while passing a national forest, and yet, many times we carelessly toss fiery words about as we pass through life.
The writer of Proverbs notes, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21).  Of all the spiritual disciplines, I believe that bringing our tongues under the submission of the Holy Spirit is one of the greatest.  Why?  Because through our words we bring life and through our words we bring destruction. They lead us into tranquil waters or take us out to the stormy seas.
There is a story told about Xanthus the philosopher. He once told his servant he was going to have some friends for dinner the following evening and instructed him get the best thing he could find in the market.  When the philosopher and his guests sat down the next day at the table, they had nothing but tongue - four or five courses of tongue cooked in various ways.  The philosopher finally lost his patience and said to his servant, "Didn't I tell you to get the best thing in the market?"  The servant said, "I did get the best thing in the market.  Isn't the tongue the organ of sociability, the organ of eloquence, the organ of kindness, the organ of worship?"
Then Xanthus said, "Tomorrow I want you to get the worst thing in the market."  The next day when the philosopher sat at the table, there was nothing but tongue-four or five courses of tongue-tongue in this shape and tongue in that shape.  The philosopher lost his patience again and said, "Didn't I tell you to get the worst thing in the market?"  The servant replied, "I did; for isn't the tongue the organ of blasphemy, the organ of defamation, the organ of lying?"
I have never eaten tongue before, but I have had to eat my words.  While words are one of God's most incredible gifts, in the wrong hands (or the wrong mouths) they possess destructive potential.
Let's Pray
Dear Lord, help me choose my words wisely, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.  Help me speak life into those around me today- to be a source of encouragement rather than discouragement, of hope rather than hurt, and of love rather than pain.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Now It's Your Turn
At the end of today, make of list of 10 ways you encouraged someone with your words.
What was their reaction to those words?
How did you feel about yourself when you encouraged someone else with your words?
To comment on today's devotion, visit www.sharonjaynes.com/blog . Here you can read others' comments as well.

of fish and birds

The Singing Fish- Arcamax

Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.'

Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.'

Jimmy: 'What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?'

Mike: 'Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.'

Jimmy: 'Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.'

Mike: 'That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'

Broken

From Lifehouse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZXHYItXWqE&feature=channel


The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like You've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In Your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm holding on)(I'm holding on)
I'm barely holding on to You

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see Your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
Is there healing
In Your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holding)(I'm holding on)
(I'm still holding) (I'm holding on)
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, You will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words You say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
Haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holding)(I'm holding on)(I'm still holding) (I'm holding on) (I'm still holding)
I’m barely holding on to you (I'm still holding on) )(I'm holding on)(I'm still holding) (I'm holding on) (I'm still holding) (I'm holding on)
Barely holding on to you

How's your Reception? From Girlfriends in God

August 25, 2009
How's Your Reception?
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop" (Luke 8:15 NIV).

Friend To Friend

Have you ever thought about how frustrated God must feel when He calls out to us and gets no response? The Lord taught me a little lesson in how to be a better listener through a gift from my son.

When Steven was thirteen, twelve years ago, he thought I was still living in the Dark Ages because I didn't have a cell phone. But I didn't want a cell phone. My car was one place where I could get away from the telephone's constant pull on my attention, so I settled for being a little archaic. Besides, he really just wanted me to have one so he could call into the radio station and win prizes on our drive to school each morning.

Boy, was I surprised that Christmas when I opened my lovely present from Steven to discover a flip-top cell phone purchased with his own money. How could I not appear grateful for a gift from my own child (that sly dog)? Of course he convinced my husband to pay the monthly fees. "After all," he argued, "it is much too dangerous for a woman to be driving around town without a cell phone."

"Thank you, Steven," I said. "Now whenever Dad and I are out and you are home alone, I can call you anytime, from anyplace, to see what you're doing." From the look on his face, I could tell that the thought had never crossed his mind.

A few weeks later I decided to try out my new toy.

"Steven, this is Mom. Dad and I are in the car. When I hang up, I want you to call this number and let's see if the phone works."

We waited about three minutes, but the phone never rang.

"Steven, this is Mom again. What happened?"

"I called the number," he explained, "but the operator said that your phone was turned off or that you were out of the calling area."

I decided to call the cell phone company to find out what had happened.

"Let me explain something," said the technical assistant. "A cellular phone works by sending out and receiving radio waves from a cell tower. You were at a point on the road that dips and forms a small valley, and the radio waves could not reach down into the dip for you to receive the signal. Another possibility is that your message was being blocked by a large building. And finally, Mrs. Jaynes, was your battery powered up? Have you charged it lately?"

"Yes," I answered. "I charged it today."

"And was the antenna up?" (This was when cell phones actually had antennae.)

"Yes," I said. "The antenna was up."

Finally I asked, "Why could I send a call, but I could not receive a call?"

"Because it takes more call strength to receive a call, than to send one," she explained.

I was more than frustrated with this two-by-six-inch piece of plastic, but it made me consider other transmissions that I had trouble receiving from time to time. John 10:27 says that the Lord speaks to His sheep and His sheep hear His voice. But why do I have so much trouble hearing from God? Could it be the same reasons that I have poor reception with my cell phone?

If I'm having trouble hearing from God, I have to ask myself the same questions that the technical assistant asked me. Am I in a dip in the road? Sometimes a valley of depression can clog my spiritual ears in such a way that I don't hear His gentle voice coaxing me to higher ground. Then, I need to start singing praises like David did in the Psalms and watch Him turn my valley into a level path.

Have I erected walls that are blocking God's signals: walls of materialism, selfish ambition, or religion? If so I need to tear them down. Is my battery pack powered up? If not, I need to plug into the Word and get recharged. Is my antenna raised or have I put it down like the Israelites who, because of fear, told Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us." (Exodus 20:19 NIV). If I want to hear from Him, I need to make sure my spiritual antenna is up and that I am expectantly waiting to hear His voice.

Finally, why is it that I can sometimes place a call but often have trouble receiving one? I can go before the Lord at any time and He hears me. Though it doesn't take more power to receive a message from Him, it does take more effort on my part to be receptive. In our fast-paced world, it takes more effort to be still and listen than it does to speak. But I need to realize that what God has to say to me is much more important than anything I have to say to Him.

I held my little flip-top phone in the palm of my hand and thanked God for showing me once again how to hear His voice. What I realized was that hearing from Him was more than just receiving; it was also about making sure I was receptive.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, help me to hear Your voice when You speak. If there are walls that I have erected that are blocking me from hearing You, please show me what they are so that I can tear them down. Fill me afresh with the Holy Spirit today. Charge my spiritual battery! Thank You for giving me two ears and only one mouth, and teach me to use each one appropriately.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

I love this quote: "If you're talking, you're not learning anything." - Lolita B. West (Former elementary school teacher)

Journal about a time when you felt like you could not hear God's voice. What was this experience like? How did it make you feel not to be able to hear the Shepherd's voice leading you? Did you feel scared, anxious, or frustrated?

I challenge you to take a few minutes to be still before the Lord today. That's right. Do not talk. Do not move a muscle (but don't fall asleep!). Simply get still and quiet at His feet. Many times our biggest struggle is that we are so busy talking to Him that we aren't learning anything from Him. Just like a disruptive child in a classroom, when we do all the talking, the Teacher cannot teach us or anyone else!

Shirley Goodnest and Marcy

from UpWords with Max Lucado
Week of August 14

God Never Sends You Out Alone
by Max Lucado

When you place your faith in Christ, Christ places his Spirit before, behind, and within you. Not a strange spirit, but the same Spirit: the parakletos. Everything Jesus did for his followers, his Spirit does for you. Jesus taught; the Spirit teaches. Jesus healed; the Spirit heals. Jesus comforted; his Spirit comforts. As Jesus sends you into new seasons, he sends his counselor to go with you.

God treats you the way one mother treated her young son, Timmy. She didn't like the thought of Timmy walking to his first-grade class unaccompanied. But he was too grown-up to be seen with his mother. "Besides," he explained, "I can walk with a friend." So she did her best to stay calm, quoting the Twenty-third Psalm to him every morning: "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..."

One school day she came up with an idea. She asked a neighbor to follow Timmy to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, lest he notice her. The neighbor was happy to oblige. She took her toddler on morning walks anyway.

After several days Timmy's friend noticed the lady and the child.

"Do you know who that woman is who follows us to school?"

"Sure," Timmy answered. "That's Shirley Goodnest and her daughter Marcy."

"Who?"

"My mom reads about them every day in the Twenty-third Psalm. She says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life.' Guess I'll have to get used to them."

You will too. God never sends you out alone. Are you on the eve of change? Do you find yourself looking into a new chapter? Is the foliage of your world showing signs of a new season? Heaven's message for you is clear: when everything else changes, God presence never does. You journey in the company of the Holy Spirit, who "will teach you and will remind you of everything I have told you" (John 14:26 NLT).

Personnel

from Arcamax

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply...

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."

Marketing Strategems...

Advertising Terms Explained from Arcamax

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as anything!

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it

Perspective determines your Attitude

August 11, 2009
The Worker
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Colossians 3: 23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Friend To Friend
A woman was at work when the baby sitter called to tell her that her daughter was very sick. The woman quickly left work and she stopped by the pharmacy on her way home. When she came out of the pharmacy, the now frantic woman discovered that she had locked her keys in the car. Grabbing her phone, she called home only to hear that her daughter was worse. Looking around for help, she spotted an old, rusty coat hanger lying on the ground. She picked it up but had no idea how to use it. By this time, the woman was in a panic so she bowed her head and prayed for help. An old rusty car pulled up and out came a dirty, greasy, bearded man wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman was desperate so she decided to be thankful for answered prayer. The man took the hanger and in less than a minute opened the car. She hugged the man and through tears of relief said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man!" The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I have been in prison for car theft and just got out an hour ago." The woman hugged the man again and sobbed, "Thank you, God, for sending me a professional!"

We all want to be successful in our work. Your office may be downtown or just inside your front door. Your work clothes may be a Casper suit or jeans and t-shirt. You may be paid in cash or with crayon drawings and sticky kisses. None of these things makes us successful in the work place. Success in the work place is not determined by where we work...but by how we work.

The Worker's 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my boss, and I shall not want.

He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.

He reminds me to pray, before I speak in anger.

He restores my sanity.

He guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mail, system failures, copier jams, back-ordered supplies, unrealistic deadlines, staff shortages, budget cutbacks, red tape, downsizing, gossiping co-workers and whining customers,

I won't give up, for You are with me.

Your presence, peace and power will see me through.

You raise me up, even when the boss fails to promote me.

You claim me as your own, even when the company threatens to let me go.

Your loyalty and love are better than a bonus check.

Your retirement plan beats any 401K, and when it's all said and done,

I'll be working for you a whole lot longer!

(Author unknown)

God is Lord of all -- or He is not Lord at all! Yet, we often fail to yield certain parts of life to His control. The reality is that 95% surrender is still 5% short. God wants everything we are or ever hope to be. Making Him Lord is the only way He can fully accomplish His plan and purpose in our lives. And until He is Lord, we will never be contented.

The workplace is a common area of life where we find it easy to live out our own agendas. For some reason, we seem to think that once we sit down at our desk, report for duty or clock in, we enter a "No God Allowed" zone. How sad -- when He stands ready and waiting to not only equip and empower us to be the best employee we can be, but desires to pour out His blessings upon our work.

An even greater opportunity and blessing comes when God uses us in the workplace to share Him and His message of love and restoration with those who are seeking Him. God strategically places us on a chosen mission field called "job". A fellow employee needs to see a godly response to unfair criticism. A boss needs to witness the quiet, gracious spirit of submission -- even in the face of a difficult job change. A fully devoted follower may be the only person who reaches out and ministers to someone in need. Make no mistake, friend. Everyone on the job is watching to see if we are "the real deal". It may be the most important "sermon" they ever hear.

I challenge you to do your work "unto Him" and see what He does in and through a life committed to making Him Lord of all!

Salt and Mensa

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.

A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand?

Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

Chapstick

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.

Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom. We have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved chapstick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished.

That year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally go into the bathroom. There was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right -their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

Author Unknown

Wonderful Definitions

Thanks to Jeremy!

School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you by bills.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise