Monday, December 1, 2008

Getting to know a woman: the Quote Bank

"You don't know a women till you've met her in court." -Norman Mailer

"In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." -Margaret Thatcher

"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both." -Samuel Butler

"I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine." -Mel Gibson

"I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against." -David Niven (The Moon is Blue, 1953)

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money." -Edgar Watson Howe

"From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money." -Sophie Tucker

"When women go wrong, men go right after them." -Mae West

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often." -Oliver Herford

"Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?" -Benny Hill

"A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty." -Rudyard Kipling

"My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects." -Les Dawson

"Man has will, but woman has her way." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." -Aristotle Onassis

"A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off." -Robert Paul

Translations for the Malaysian Truth: Sad but True

Here's the translation for the previous article. For those who do not understand Malay.

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Day after day Muslims are being bullied and oppressed. Not by the Chinese, the Indians, the Jews or the Christians. But they are oppressed by the Muslims/Malays themselves. After the yoga has been banned, these these are the coming fatwas:

December 2008
The Muslims are no longer allowed to swim in public pools, because the non-Muslims wear swim suits which are skimpy and does not cover their aurat( especially the foxy and sexy Chinese girls). This is detrimental to the Muslims akidah. Therefore the best way is to ban all Muslims from the public pools.

January 2009
Muslims are not allowed to go to Penang. The Chief Minister of Penang is a non-Muslim and the majority of people in Penang are non-Muslims. When a Muslim is in Penang, he may catch the tantalizing smell of char keoy tiaw cooked by the non-Muslims and may ruin his akidah. The best way is to ban the Muslims from entering Penang. Muslims now living in Penang will be given an allowance of RM 3000 to move out of Penang to any state they wish. Moving out to Kelantan and Terengganu is very, very much encouraged.

February 2009
Muslims are banned from drinking root beer. Although root beer does not contain any alcohol, however the word "beer" may caused a passion and inappropriate actions in the Muslim community. With the banning of root beer, Muslims may drink any soft drink without worries. Ginger beer is also banned.

March 2009
Muslims are not allowed to eat at mamak stalls. Although most mamaks are Muslims, but they have Indian origins and there may be Indian elements in their businesses such as speking Tamil and wearing shorts made in India. To avoid suspicion, from March 1, 2009 all Muslims are banned from eating at mamak stalls( except for Tun Mahatir as he is a Class 1 mamak)

April 2009 Muslims are not allowed to play ping pong or table tennis. Ping pong originates from China. Therefore it may contain Buddhist or Confucian elements. Muslims who play too much ping pong will spoil their akidah. As an alternative, Muslims are encouraged to play rag ball. However the rag ball must be a Malaysian product, not Thai.)

May 2009
Muslims working for the Government are banned from taking their pay, because the majority of the nations revenue comes from the taxes of non-Muslim companies. Muslims are encouraged to seek alms from other Muslims. To ease this endeavor, alms seekers to be are advised to squat in front of the UMNO building.

June 2009
Muslims are not allowed to go out of the country. There are just to many temptations that will ruin one's akidah. This matter has been research thoroughly on a field trip to Bangkok by the National Fatwa Council recently. Therefore Muslims are to return their passports to the Imigresion Depertment as soon as possible. Any trips out of the country is only allowed to ministers and UMNO's key men only, with the condition that a member of the National Fatwa Council accompanies him.

July 2009
Muslims are not allowed to think in the day. Most of the criminal cases and sins are perpetrated by jobless people who have nonsensical thinking. To eliminate crimes and sins, Muslims are banned from using their brains beginning July 1, 2009. Their thought will be monitored by the National Fatwa Council using a group of specially trained monkeys. Muslims may use their brains at night but for eating and drinking purposes only.


Please do not laugh. Many of the above will become a reality if we do not do anything. The rational-thinking Muslims in this country are simply not doing anything. We let a very small minority of narrow-minded idiots to control our lives. We, especially the Malay Muslims, are fast becoming a laughing stock worldwide. We are obsessed with the little little things.

When there are so many important things remain to be done why must the Fatwa folks spend their time on little things.. tomboys, yoga, etc, etc. Why don't we ever hear anything from the Fatwa folks for social justice, eradicating corruption and poverty, protecting single mothers, helping the poors, educating the ummah, protecting the environment or ensuring fairness in society.

If you are a rationale, forward thinking muslim, please speak up. If you choose to remain silent, it only means that you agree with whatever is happening. And do not blame the non-muslims for all our troubles. We are asking for it.

Original Author:
Bukhari Hood, Shah Alam