Monday, December 1, 2008

Getting to know a woman: the Quote Bank

"You don't know a women till you've met her in court." -Norman Mailer

"In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." -Margaret Thatcher

"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both." -Samuel Butler

"I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine." -Mel Gibson

"I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against." -David Niven (The Moon is Blue, 1953)

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money." -Edgar Watson Howe

"From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money." -Sophie Tucker

"When women go wrong, men go right after them." -Mae West

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often." -Oliver Herford

"Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?" -Benny Hill

"A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty." -Rudyard Kipling

"My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects." -Les Dawson

"Man has will, but woman has her way." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." -Aristotle Onassis

"A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off." -Robert Paul

Translations for the Malaysian Truth: Sad but True

Here's the translation for the previous article. For those who do not understand Malay.

+ + +

Day after day Muslims are being bullied and oppressed. Not by the Chinese, the Indians, the Jews or the Christians. But they are oppressed by the Muslims/Malays themselves. After the yoga has been banned, these these are the coming fatwas:

December 2008
The Muslims are no longer allowed to swim in public pools, because the non-Muslims wear swim suits which are skimpy and does not cover their aurat( especially the foxy and sexy Chinese girls). This is detrimental to the Muslims akidah. Therefore the best way is to ban all Muslims from the public pools.

January 2009
Muslims are not allowed to go to Penang. The Chief Minister of Penang is a non-Muslim and the majority of people in Penang are non-Muslims. When a Muslim is in Penang, he may catch the tantalizing smell of char keoy tiaw cooked by the non-Muslims and may ruin his akidah. The best way is to ban the Muslims from entering Penang. Muslims now living in Penang will be given an allowance of RM 3000 to move out of Penang to any state they wish. Moving out to Kelantan and Terengganu is very, very much encouraged.

February 2009
Muslims are banned from drinking root beer. Although root beer does not contain any alcohol, however the word "beer" may caused a passion and inappropriate actions in the Muslim community. With the banning of root beer, Muslims may drink any soft drink without worries. Ginger beer is also banned.

March 2009
Muslims are not allowed to eat at mamak stalls. Although most mamaks are Muslims, but they have Indian origins and there may be Indian elements in their businesses such as speking Tamil and wearing shorts made in India. To avoid suspicion, from March 1, 2009 all Muslims are banned from eating at mamak stalls( except for Tun Mahatir as he is a Class 1 mamak)

April 2009 Muslims are not allowed to play ping pong or table tennis. Ping pong originates from China. Therefore it may contain Buddhist or Confucian elements. Muslims who play too much ping pong will spoil their akidah. As an alternative, Muslims are encouraged to play rag ball. However the rag ball must be a Malaysian product, not Thai.)

May 2009
Muslims working for the Government are banned from taking their pay, because the majority of the nations revenue comes from the taxes of non-Muslim companies. Muslims are encouraged to seek alms from other Muslims. To ease this endeavor, alms seekers to be are advised to squat in front of the UMNO building.

June 2009
Muslims are not allowed to go out of the country. There are just to many temptations that will ruin one's akidah. This matter has been research thoroughly on a field trip to Bangkok by the National Fatwa Council recently. Therefore Muslims are to return their passports to the Imigresion Depertment as soon as possible. Any trips out of the country is only allowed to ministers and UMNO's key men only, with the condition that a member of the National Fatwa Council accompanies him.

July 2009
Muslims are not allowed to think in the day. Most of the criminal cases and sins are perpetrated by jobless people who have nonsensical thinking. To eliminate crimes and sins, Muslims are banned from using their brains beginning July 1, 2009. Their thought will be monitored by the National Fatwa Council using a group of specially trained monkeys. Muslims may use their brains at night but for eating and drinking purposes only.


Please do not laugh. Many of the above will become a reality if we do not do anything. The rational-thinking Muslims in this country are simply not doing anything. We let a very small minority of narrow-minded idiots to control our lives. We, especially the Malay Muslims, are fast becoming a laughing stock worldwide. We are obsessed with the little little things.

When there are so many important things remain to be done why must the Fatwa folks spend their time on little things.. tomboys, yoga, etc, etc. Why don't we ever hear anything from the Fatwa folks for social justice, eradicating corruption and poverty, protecting single mothers, helping the poors, educating the ummah, protecting the environment or ensuring fairness in society.

If you are a rationale, forward thinking muslim, please speak up. If you choose to remain silent, it only means that you agree with whatever is happening. And do not blame the non-muslims for all our troubles. We are asking for it.

Original Author:
Bukhari Hood, Shah Alam

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Malaysian Truth: Sad but True

I really don't understand these people. No offense but if you preach that your religion is so good and whatever, why the hell do you need to impose all these laws, i.e. fatwa? unless of course you don't even trust your own God's greatness that you need to give the Big Man Upstairs a hand. If so, why the heck do you even wanna worship Him??
Hmmm...

Confession: I "stole" this from Ennie.
It is written by a MUSLIM, I kid you not. Scroll to the bottom if you don't believe me.
A sad but true thing about THE Malaysian "dark side".
Will be doing the translation soon. I hope XP
+ + +

Makin hari umat Islam makin ditindas dan dikongkong. Bukan oleh orang Cina, atau orang India atau orang Yahudi atau orang Kristian. Tetapi dianiya dan dikongkong oleh orang Islam/Melayu sendiri. Selepas fatwa pengharaman yoga, fatwa-fatwa yang akan datang adalah seperti berikut :

Disember 2008 Orang Islam dilarang mandi di kolam renang awam. Di kolam renang awam, akan terdapat orang-orang yang bukan Islam yang memakai pakaian renang yang singkat dan mendedahkan aurat (terutamanya amoi-amoi china yang cun dan seksi). Ini boleh menjejaskan akidah orang Islam. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari kolam renang awam.

Januari 2009 Orang Islam dilarang pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Ketua Menteri Pulau Pinang adalah seorang yang bukan Islam and majoriti penduduk Pulau Pinang adalah orang yang bukan Islam. Apabila seorang Islam berada di Pulau Pinang , beliau mungkin terhidu bau char keoy tiaw yang dimasak oleh orang bukan Islam dan ini boleh merosakkan akidah kita. Cara yang paling baik ialah kita haramkan orang Islam dari pergi ke Pulau Pinang. Orang Islam yang kini tinggal di Pulau Pinang akan diberi elaun pindah sebanyak RM 3000 untuk membantu mereka berpindah ke negeri-negeri yang lain. Perpindahan ke negeri Kelantan dan Terengganu amat amat digalakkan.

Februari 2009 Orang Islam dilarang meminum root beer. Walaupun root beer tidak mengandungi alkohol, namun perkataan "beer" ini boleh menimbulkan keghairan dan kelakuan tidak senonon di kalangan orang Islam. Dengan pengharaman root beer, orang Islam bolehlah meminum minuman ringan yang lain tanpa was-was. Ginger beer juga diharamkan.

March 2009 Orang Islam dilarang memakan di kedai Mamak. Walaupun mamak kebanyakkannya Islam, tetapi asal usul mereka adalah India dan ada kemungkinan terdapat unsur-unsur India di dalam perniagaan mereka seperti bercakap Tamil dan memakai seluar dalam buatan India . Untuk mengelakkan sebarang syak wasangka, mulai 1 Mac 2009, orang Islam dilarang dari memakan di kedai mamak (kecuali Tun Mahatir kerana dia sendiri mamak kelas I)

April 2009 Orang Islam dilarang bermain ping pong atau table tennis. Ping pong berasal dari negeri China dan oleh yang demikian, mungkin terdapat unsur-unsur agama Buddha atau Confuciusism di dalam permainan ping pong. Orang Islam yang terlalu banyak bermain ping pong akan terjejas akidah mereka. Sebagai permainan alternatif, orang Islam digalakkan bermain sepak raga (tetapi bola raga mesti buatan Malaysia , bukan dari Thailand ).

Mei 2009 Orang Islam yang berkerja dengan kerajaan dilarang mengambil gaji masing-masing. Ini kerana sebahagian besar pendapatan kerajaan adalah cukai pendapatan yang dibayar oleh syarikat-syarikat orang bukan Islam. Orang Islam digalakkan meminta sedekah dari orang Islam yang lain. Untuk memudahkan permintaan sedekah, bakal peminta sedekah digalakkan mencangkung di hadapan bangunan UMNO.

Jun 2009 Orang Islam dilarang keluar negara. Terdapat terlalu banyak godaan yang boleh meruntuhkan akhlak dan akidah orang Islam. Perkara ini telahpun dikaji dengan teliti hasil lawatan sambil belajar ke Bangkok oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan baru-baru ini. Oleh yang demikian, orang orang Islam diminta menyerahkan balik paspot masing-masing ke jabatan immigresen secepat mungkin. Perjalanan keluar negara hanya dibenarkan untuk menteri-menteri dan orang kuat UMNO sahaja, itupun hanya jika diiringi oleh ahli Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan.

Julai 2009 Orang Islam dilarang berfikir di waktu siang. Kebanyakkan masalah jenayah dan maksiat wujud kerana orang-orang yang tak ada kerja berfikir yang bukan-bukan. Untuk membenteras maslah jeneyah dan maksiat, orang-orang Islam mulai 1 Julai 2009, dilarang dari menggunakan otak mereka diwaktu siang. Pemikiran mereka akan dipantau oleh Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan dengan menggunakan sekumpulan specially trained monkeys. Orang Islam boleh menggunakan otak mereka di waktu malam tetapi pemikiran dihadkan kepada perkara-perkara berkaitan dengan makan dan minum sahaja.

Please do not laugh. Many of the above will become a reality if we do not do anything. The rational-thinking muslims in this country are simply not doing anything. We let a very small minority of narrow-minded idiots to control our lives. We, especially the Malay muslims, are fast becoming a laughing stock worldwide. We are obsessed with the little little things.

When there are so many important things remain to be done why must the Fatwa folks spend their time on little things.. tomboys, yoga, etc, etc. Why don't we ever hear anything from the Fatwa folks for social justice, eradicating corruption and poverty, protecting single mothers, helping the poors, educating the ummah, protecting the environment or ensuring fairness in society.

If you are a rationale, forward thinking muslim, please speak up. If you choose to remain silent, it only means that you agree with whatever is happening. And do not blame the non-muslims for all our troubles. We are asking for it.

Original Author:
Bukhari Hood,Shah Alam

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Lecturer vs. Student

You probably would have read this sometime in your life.. What the heck, just read it again and think AGAIN. :D

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.
He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor :
You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student :
Yes, sir.
Professor :
So you Believe in GOD ?
Student :
Absolutely, sir.
Professor :
Is GOD Good ?
Student :
Sure.
Professor :
Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student :
Yes.
Professor :
My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.
But GOD didn't.
How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

( Student is silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ?
Let's start again, Young Fella.
Is GOD Good?
Student :
Yes.
Professor :
Is Satan good ?
Student :
No.
Professor :
Where does Satan come from ?
Student :
From . . . GOD . . .
Professor :
That's right.
Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student :
Yes.
Professor :
Evil is everywhere, isn't it ?
And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student :
Yes.
Professor :
So who created evil ?

(Student does not answer)


Professor :
Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student :
Yes, sir..
Professor :
So, who Created them ?
( Student has no answer )
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student :
No, sir.
Professor :
Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student :
No , sir.
Professor :
Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student :
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor :
Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor :
According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
Student :
Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor :
Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student :
Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor :
Yes.
Student :
And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor :
Yes.
Student :
No sir. There isn't.

( The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )


Student :
Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor :
Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student :
You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor :
So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student :
Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor :
Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student :
Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor :
If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student :
Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going )


Student :
Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

( The Class is in Uproar )


Student :
Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )


Student :
Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that
You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)


Professor :
I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student :
That is it sir . . .
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.

NB:

I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so . . .

You'll probably want your Friends / Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you?
Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH..


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Stalker

First and foremost, please excuse the use of "beautiful" language in my blogs.
I know mant people would probably be scratching their heads on why am i apologizing but that's just the way i am..

Seriously, I'm really feeling buggered by a certain Malay moron who is stalking me. The bastard is obvious in his "exploits". I mean, just because i'm in the same group with that fellow TWICE does not equate me into being his WIFE. Plus, it wasn't my choice in the first place to be "hooked up" with him, thank you very much.

Maybe it's because of the couple project we did in the third week of sem? Puh-LEEZE! Get a life dammit! He totally galled me in there because he was a sleeping, no, SNORING member. Let me illustrate to you what an ass he is.

Incident #1:
He didn't do a single thing to help in the presentation using the lamest excuse of "oh, I'm sick. I need to go to the clinic" 2 MINUTES before our meeting. Best part was that I had been down with influenza, was spitting dark green phelgm for a whole bloody week (hadn't had the leisurely time to go to the clinic) and I was planning to go the clinic AFTER the meeting. That my friend, was at 2.30pm. He said, "please wait for awhile. I'll be there shortly" RIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHTTT...
He came at 4.30 pm. 2 hours is such a "short" wait.

Hey, I'm supposed to be the female around here!

*Ahem* Then the sucker cames in and had the guts to ask me, "So, what have you found?" What the ****?! It's not like the bloody presentation was given the day before, you ass. It was given out a whole friggin' week ago! Anyhow, i showed him all the stuff I got (nontheless very P.O.) and the fellow just says "just print everything out" and WALKS AWAY. Like my two hours can be refunded. @%*#*!!

The next day for our presentation, he came in late and didn't even bother to get the notes from me. Am I supposed to purposely go to his seat and give to him? Hell, no way. Especially if Mr. Muccho* thinks he's my BF or something. Two seconds before the presentation, the sucker comes up to me in a pompous voice saying "why didn't you give the notes to me?" My answer? "Since when it's my job to give it to you? You are the one who is supposed to find me."
Muccho* - Fat man who thinks he's Mr. Universe.

TEN pages worth of notes I gave to him(without the comparisons, of course. Why should i help a sleazebag?) and after his pathetic two minute presentation, he THROWS the notes at me and virtually shouted at me in class "you expect me to present with such few notes?"
TEN PAGES= SUCH FEW NOTES. What kind of logic/equation is that? I only had 3 pages worth and I did a better job!It's called preparation, no? Sucker then tries to suck up by saying "oh, i think you did a great job there." Y'think?!

Reply to suckeriffic sucker: "That's obvious because I found all the infomation AND printed out the stuff. By the way, you owe me 2 bucks for the printing" Which he grudgingly paid.

Incident #2:
Field Trip. Sucker can't go. Messages me to inform the lect. (Uh, why can't he just message the lect himself? Everyone has the lect's number!) Naturally, I didn't message him back. Then he made 7 calls and at least 20 messages on the thing.

HELLO. . YOU KNOW THAT'S THE PURPOSE OF THE FIELD TRIP. IT'S CALLED AN INTERVIEW CUM COUNSELLING. Why would I want to bother myself with a loser?

NOTE TO ALL:
When you text anyone "Please inform XXX about XXXX.", there's a cardinal rule.
THE PERSON IS NOT REQUIRED TO TEXT YOU BACK!

Next week he saw me, he asked me in a saccharin sweet way, "did you tell the lect?"
"I did. And you were disturbing my interview the entire way. One message was already enough."
"Why didn't you message me to inform me?"
"Was there a need to?"
"I sent you so many messages and called you so many times.."
"Then, you should have gotten the message."
"But that's a lot of money spent"
"That's your problem. Not mine." *and i walk away*

Ever since then he stalks me whenever he can. Thank God he's not in my course or I'll be vomitting blood. He follows me like a dog whenever he can. To the library, cafeteria, cybercafe. Lucky for him, he hadn't got the guts to go to my residential college because if he does I will disable his vital organ. Just last week he stood behind me in the cybercafe and read my mails for half an hour. I had been wondering what was the person beside me doing illegally because she kept looking behind her nervously.

UNTIL I read a joke and the bastard exclaims "Why are you laughing? That wasn't even funny."
****!! "Bugger off! This is my private mail!" He actually MADE A SOUR FACE!!!

Is he demented or WHAT??

Thursday, June 19, 2008

UKM, HERE I COME!!

I'm going to study in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia! And I'm going to study anthropology!
WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha, forgive me for being a little mente loca, but, but I'm just thrilled to go there!
Wanna know why?

1) I don't need to fight for my major in Sophomore year.
2) I DO want to study Anthropology.
3) I've lots of familiar faces there. Schoolmates from CLB, CBN and SABS. I guess it does pay to move around a lot. XD
4) Although I was half prepared to fly over to Sabah, but I get to be in KL!! Which means that i won't miss out on Kaleo's visit to M'sia, (hopefully) not miss any DBSK concerts anymore, and the most crucial fact of all....

THE CITY BUM'S BACK IN TOWN!

5) The uni's away from the city, but yet not too far away. A girl's gotta study, non mon ami?
6) The library's FAMOUS. Need I say more??
7) My dad got his Masters there...

XP
The last one was unnecessary.

In case you were wondering, I missed out on the concerts because....
Rising Sun: I was being "relocated" from KL to Kuantan a.k.a. Ham Yue Land .
O : I was busy sitting for my SAT, STPM and TOEFL. All within a month. The whole experience was as good as attempting suicide.
(DBSK? AGAIN? They seem to be the only thing i ever talk about! SHEEEEEEEEESH....)

Heck, who cares now anyway? UKM, here i come!!!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Of nauseating things but nonetheless makes you say “oh, S***!!”.



It’s two friggin’ a.m. over here and I’m finally out of the john. Which would mean that I have been in the loo for a record of two and a half hours. It just so amazing, what your body is willing to punish you for not eating enough roughage. Which might explain why the world has a rich collection of sadists. (Hannibal Lecter, anyone?)

Honestly, who would want to volunteer for such an enterprise? It was not to my amusement as I figured out within the cramped four walls of why, we English speaking sapiens, call people we dislike as “pain in the ass/butt/derriere” etc. I can assure you, that by the end of the first half hour, you would be pondering upon the question of “ am I in the Inquisition?” and “ If I am, would I rather be burned at the stake, beheaded by a guillotine, or having my own guts torturing the living daylights out of me?”. What more when the torturing session lasts four times longer. *oh, JOY.....*

If you don’t believe me, abstain from any veggies/fruit or pop two iron pills. What will ensure would prove to be a taste of pure hell on earth.

Judge a book by it's cover and be damned.

Two weeks ago I was in Kuala Lumpur when I finally got a copy of DBSK’s TRI-ANGLE. Focus on FINALLY. It took me almost two years to get my hands on it. Those of you who are the true blue fans of DBSK from the get go, shut up. I wasn’t “converted” until a month before “O-Jung.Ban.Hap” came out. In fact, you may call me one of the anti-fans, due to my continuous character assassination of the members then. Ironically, the song that made me hate them so much was TRI-ANGLE itself.

What’s to hate a song so much, right? I mean, I sure as heck dislike anything from Ayumi, SMAP and Metallica, but I don’t hate them to that extent! I don’t publicly assassinate their characters like I need to make myself a social outcast. I am not a masochist. However DBSK was the exception (then).

Firstly, they totally bulldozed Mozart’s Symphony no.40 in G m. I mean totally razed it into the pit. Rocking up Mozart is applaudable. Great DJs do it from time to time. But the way they jammed it? Not acceptable even to this day, no matter how much I claim to love them. (maybe that's why I never bothered to be an official Cassiopeia member?)

Secondly, I personally hate guys with extremely evident make up. Yun Ho and Jae Joong looked like gigs, Chang Min a Desperate Wannabe and Jun Soo had a bird tailed crown and silver eye shadow (!). Micky Park looks like actress Chae Rin in the MV. Sorry, Micky-shi, but you really did.

I think I’ve done enough damage here.

After that, whenever I heard anything DBSK, I would:
1) blabber in disgust
2) switch stations, or
3) screech.
I admit the last one was way off kilter, but I guess you now know how much I hated them then.

What made me get past that ONE miserable song?

Two songs. Free Your Mind and Step by Step. They brought me back from the verge of insanity from living with a person suffering from what I call as SADS. Single And Desperate Syndrome.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled when I found out that they were the ones who sang the songs. I was hoping they were sung by any other group. Then I did some “research” and was completely flabbergasted when I found they sang “HUG” and “내 여자친구가 되어줄래?” . *gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

I guess you just can’t judge a singer with one song, can you?

Friday, May 16, 2008

Yo Momma Jokes

I got this from Reader's Digest. Thought you might like it. XP

1. Yo momma is so honest, her driver's license has her real weight on it.-- LeeAnn

2. Yo momma is so friendly she waves back at the "Don't Walk" sign.-- Grillthom

3. Yo momma is so responsible she even feeds the dust bunnies.-- Mary Kaess

4. Yo momma is so funny, she makes milk come out of a cows nose.-- James Willard

5. Yo momma, is so diligent, she studied for her pregnancy test.-- Howard and Tina

6. Yo momma is so honest, she stole a car and kept up the payments.-- Daisy Wilson

7. Yo momma is so slim she can Hula-Hoop in a Cheerio.-- Iris Finkelman

8. Yo momma is so proper, she slapped her laundry for smelling too fresh.-- Krazymike

9. Yo momma is so pretty, yo daddy still wants her phone number.-- Jo Lynn Delgado

10. Yo momma is so polite, she would apologize to the floor if she fell.-- Joe Lassegard

Funny Story about Food and Hair

Cha Siew Pau & Maggi Mee

(NOTE TO READERS UNFAMILIAR WITH THE TERMS ABOVE:
Cha Siew Pau is the name for a Cantonese delicacy. It's a steamed rice flour bun with honey roasted pork filling
Maggi Mee is a type of instant wavy noodles, popular in Malaysia and Singapore.
End of tutorial. Class dismissed. XD)

One day, cha siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat cha siew pau up until it had bruises on its pau body.

Cha Siew Pau lost the fight and went back to tell the pau family;-
Kaya pau, tau sa pau, curry pau, etc.

Together, all the paus went to find maggi mee for revenge.

On the way. they met Spaghetti. All the paus ran to Spaghetti and BEAT Spaghetti up!
Poor Spaghetti couldn't get a word egdewise. Finally, Spaghetti screamed, 'what did I do? I don't even know you all!!!!'

Cha siew pau replied...

'HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don't think I can't recognize you after your REBONDING treatment!!'

the House Slave

Nope.. it's not the supplementary book from Harry Potter series in regard to Dobby and the what nots. It's also not the title of a b-grade horror movie. Or an indie movie, thank you very much.

I resigned from my job in mid march after much nagging from my "muzzer". (Partly also because almost half of my pay was in gas from travelling to and fro, and also for "parent support". Geez...what's the point when you're earning to feed the economy and not yourself???!)

So now I'm the official house slave.
I clean, wash, cook and do groceries. I'm also my mom's personal masseuse.
Not that i'm complaining. I get to read, listen to music and go shopping after hours, unlike my way unruly sched. when doing retail. My only gripe is that the working hours are REALLY long.

*SIGH*

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Rantings of a lunatic

I hate celebrations. Lunar new year's are always holidays which aren't holidays in the first place because you're busying about about thing or another. The holidays does not differ from a working day. In fact, you work a heck lot more during this time of the year as compared to a normal working day. I am now a panda. Can't believe I've got to get back to work tomorrow. *Roll eyes* *SIGH*
My current favourite band is a guyband called Dong Bang Shin Ki, from South Korea.
Move over Kylie, Michelle B., Il Divo, KAT-TUN, Andrea Bocelli (and a whole load of talented vocalists/musicians). And whatever happened to Sophie Ellis Baxtor? Got murdered on the dancefloor??
Anyway, after all the hype about new applications on Facebook and Friendster, I gotta admit it's quite addictive. If you're actually willing to spend 3 hours on the thing. (Unfortunately I seem to be the only freak who thinks that's it's a waste of time. I only spend some time on it to please my friends ...sigh).
I'm not trying to condescend you people who are willing to spend time on such matters. I just have a different perspective as I don't see the point of having answered a trivia/quiz of less than 15 questions and then have the moderator putting some poster on my page yodelling about my personality. Or how evil am i. I mean, how can it be, that i am rated as a goody two shoes in one trivia and become Sylar (from Heroes) in another?! Does it make sense to you?? It sure does not to me.
Besides, it takes too much time. One trivia/application takes about 20 minutes, minimum. 5 of those stuff would take one hour, 10 would take 2 hours and it goes on and on....
Therefore, it's a waste of time to me. In that two hours I can finish that Murakami book I bought for christmas last year. (Good grief! I still have 3 more stories to finish in Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman! P.S.: I would not recommend his books if you're a conservative fellow who can't possibly understand the surreal and dangler endings.)
Sayonara...hopefully I'll be less loony the next time around.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

베개어베개,나사링힘니다..
In case you were wondering.

Yeah, i'm professing my love in korean...


...towards my pillow, that is.

Working in Guardian is a real life sucker. I now totally understand the dynamics of working life (RIGHT....like the dynamics of seeing a steak being grilled) All I am pretty much doing is eat sleep work, eat sleep work and freak show repeats itself again one more time. (Don't mind the grammar. It's intentional.)

Yesterday was my off day but I didn't keep my word on the blogging part, due to the oh-so-nice fact that i'm a born procrastinator. (Look on the bright side, people. At least I admit my weaknesses.)
So I felt bad and I decided to blog today. To make up to my pals.
If you actually believed any of that, you are both very innocent and naive. :P
Nahna, I was singing odes to my lovely pillow.... and also "boiling porridge" for 3 hours on the phone with my bestie... mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Honestly? I'm online today because I'm checking whether my applications went through and qualify for any interviews. No word from them, so you get words from me. Haha.

Well, gotta go. My pillow beckonssssss....

Sheesh, I shouldn't have read LOTR again. I'm stuck at the JRRT version of the two towers for 3 weeks now. PJ version version, here I come...
Did I buy the movie trilogy in the first place? (digging the dvd junk pile)

Wish me luck!

Hope you guys will have a blast during the Lunar New Year. Beware of werewolves though. *mad grin*

Thursday, January 3, 2008

shikes!

5th december blogging. RIGHT.

Procrastination is soooooo my middle name. Though it's only partly true. I have a VERY GOOD reason to not blog. I haven't been checking my mail/friendster/facebook either. So if not blogging as I had promised is a federal case, sue me.

*SIGH*

Anyway, year 2007,
5th Dec: Was the last day of my exams (i.e. HELL) so I took a day off. Just a date with me and my pillow.
6th Dec: Packing up to go to Kuala Lumpur, finish up my forms and get ready for TOEFL and drafting my admission essays like crazy.
9th Dec: In KL. MAD MAD MAD five days of my life. TOEFL and met up with friend (yeah, i only met up with YOU, Mitch)
14th Dec: Flew off to Brunei to see my sis. (Note to all: DO NOT go there if you're a pure city-lifer. It's a just a BIG kampung)
18th Dec: Midnight flight back to KL. 'nuff said.
19th Dec: In KL. More shopping (soooo friggin' not. Just Shinnen groceries.) Fruitless scholarship hunting.
20th Dec: Bussing back to ham yue land(Kuantan). Felt like salted fish, stink and all.
21st Dec: Writing all my essays, and whatever else....
24th Dec: Sent everything. Phew!
25th Dec: Christmas service. Went for a walk-in interview. Got the job.
26th Dec: Started work. Worked my ass off (opening of a new store, all from scratch and the opening's in 3 days time. 14 hours a day! Oh ****!!)
30th Dec: Opening. Can't believe we were able to pull it off.

3rd Jan, 2008: OFF DAY AT LONG LAST! Finally some TV after one whole month.

ONE MONTH?!! what the .....

Ja, Ja. Tomorrow's working again. Tired like a donkey though. See ya on my next off day. That is if I'm not too tired, mi amigos.